Monday, April 21, 2008

Toy Cars and Nothingness

I can still feel the vibration the toy car made on that concrete retaining wall. I was 9 and my best friend was 10 and we would play cars together. It seems silly to be talking about playing cars some 30 years ago but it is the place and time I have the privilege to escape to now and then. I'm not sure what pulls me there but I think it has something to do with those innocent, non-programed, non-driven, non-pressured, and just plain simple moments when one friend plays alongside another. That something is hidden in the quiet moments of nothingness that we seem to have less of as we grow into adulthood.

These moments are not gone completely in my life yet! In fact, I experienced one tonight as I finished my run I lay down on the cold concrete and looked up at the darkess of the sky and just looked. . . At first I saw nothing but darkness and it was good! Slowly I began to see hints of stars and when I looked deeper I felt the vibrations building up in my hand as I remembered driving that toy car with my neighborhood best friend. Before that moment was done I had experienced nothingness and a sense of deep down happiness that oozed out in the form of goosebumps. In that simple moment I knew again, like the first time I knew when I was 9, what I was created to be! I hope everyone has these moments . . .

If someone asks how do I know God has propinquity with me, this kind of story is all I have to offer.

1 comment:

Randy said...

very frederick buechner clack-clack like. thanks.